So, I wasn’t here when this was recorded. I was opening a can of mad ultimate frisbee skills. It’s how I roll. It’s probably a fantastic episode with laughs and tears and real human emotions. It’s also probably our least racist episode. I can’t promise that but it sounds true. Damon hasn’t told me what the topics were so I’m going to make some up.

The topics were:
Butts
Butts
Butts

Oh wait, he just got back to me. The real topics were:
Hardest you’ve ever laughed
Build a wrestler
Crit fails and nat 20s

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I’m posting this late because I’m super lazy. Also because we didn’t get around to recording until almost until it was time to post it and then I didn’t post it because I was busy recording. I’m not really paying attention to what I’m writing so that may not have made much sense. Any way… it’s being posted now. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

The topics were, are, and will always be:
Travel Like a Boss
Ghostbusters
Movie Titles that Sound Dumb

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Click here …okay?

I am posting this at 10:29 p.m.  Normally I would put this on a delay so it would post at 1:30 in the morning but I figured, what the heck.  Live a little, be crazy, throw caution into the wind, fight a badger, urinate on a moose, start a land war in Asia… post a podcast three hours early.  We were joined by my beautiful and talented wife Erin.  You wouldn’t really know it though.  She may have said less than Parker.  At least my significant other stayed in the room instead of running away to play vidya games.  My wife is the best wife.  Deal with it, y’all.

Topics were:
Dream Casts
Judging People By Their Clothes
Plugs

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This is the episode where Parker refuses to hang out with us until the very end and then he says like three things. But one of the those things was good enough to make the title of the episode. That’s why Parker should hang out on the podcast more often. The topics this week were:

Things that grew on us
Prom

I forgot… Maybe I’ll update this later.  Probably not.

How awesome our wives are. That is an embarrassing thing to forget.

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Hey y’all! This episode is special and here is why. This is the first episode that is being published on our new regular schedule! Monday is SpitValve Podcast day! Isn’t that exciting! Every Monday you can return to this site and there will be a new SpitValve Podcast here waiting for you! I think I’ve got this setup right that it will publish at 1 in the morning so you should be able to start your work week off by listening to us chatter inanely about nothing of interest. Man, we’re so good to you kids!

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Click here to name the goblin’s hideout.

I wasn’t here for this one so I refuse to take any blame for any of the content. Or maybe I’m fully responsible for the content because I wasn’t there to steer the conversation. Or maybe I’m totally over estimating the amount of control I have over the group. Or maybe none of you care and just want to listen to this thing. …Okay, here it is.

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The Grant Tetons were originally named “The three breasts” by French explorers. So they looked and saw pointy, jagged, and irregularly shaped peaks… three of ‘em, and thought to themselves “boobs!”. How lonely were these guys? Seriously. It’s more sad than anything.

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You are a beautiful person. You are a unique individual. You can accomplish your goals. You are a powerful being filled with infinite potential and no one, I said NO ONE, get to decide your level of happiness but YOU! And you definitely have better things to do with your time then listen to this podcast. But… it does have some excellent commentary on penguins* so you make the call.

*The episode probably doesn’t mention penguins. It’s been a while since I listened to it.

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Click here to ride dem lines.

I’m going to be honest, I’m not even testing this as I post them. That’s a job for you nerds in quality control. I’m one of the awesome people who designs stuff. Not really, but hey, if any of you find dead links or unplayable audio, leave us a comment to let us know. We’ll fix things. We’ll admit we were wrong. We’re not so proud that we can’t own up to our mistakes.

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Episode three y’all. Bet you didn’t think we’d even make it this far. As some point I’m going to go back and figure out what the three topics were for each of these and include it in the description but today is not that day. Right now we’re just getting this noise on the internet.

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Click here to eat apples.