The Spitvalve Podcast LXV – Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azerbaijan

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So, remember when least episode broke a longstanding duration record for this podcast? Well, turns out it loses the record already. Brennon is back, and when Brennon gets back the gift of gab because mighty with this crew. Come and be regaled by tales of vomit, jail, 50 Shades of Grey, fighting game interplay, Nightmare Before Christmas, Dark Souls, and French directors.

Topics Were:

Food Memories
Movies Soundtracks
Underrated Media

Click Here to have fun with some stories that bear a striking resemblance to a trademarked book series that you may or may not have ordered through Scholastic as a child.

The Spitvalve Podcast LXIV – I’m a Monster

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Alright everybody, remember that longest episode record we set a while back? Get ready for us to shatter it. Damon’s high school friend Sophie drops in to drop some mad truth on y’all about everything you could ever want to know in life, including how to get Dr. Who tattoos that are cool enough to make you legit, but not too obvious to tip your hand. If you notice that everyone is chatty and happy, know this: Damon installed a window air conditioner just moments prior to recording. That’s the magic of coolness everyone. Respect it. There is some good stuff here, and I’m not just saying that. The only disappointing thing is Wharff drops his best joke in the first quarter of the show, and just can never quite hit that stride again.

Topics Were:

Food Service/Retail Stories
Kid Candy vs. Adult Candy
Things You Miss About Utah When You’re Away

Click here to find the best ways to burn holes in them pockets.

The Spitvalve Podcast LXIII – To Catch Crumbs and Predators

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Howdy folks! Join us in a big, welcoming round of applause for Damon’s pizza friend – Jorden! That is to say, he’s not a friend made of pizza (which would be both wondrous and strange), but a friend Damon made while delivering pizza! Little do you know, while you’re just phoning and on-lining your orders for a thin crust, extra sauce, pepperoni and mushroom pizza, there is a wild, lush ecosystem of people putting in the work to deliver you that pie. And sometimes – just sometimes – a friendship can blossom right out of the greasy cardboard! This week laughs are had, tears are shed, and we all suffer from varying levels of heat-induced lethargy. Basically, it’s every family reunion you’ve ever been to.

Topics Were:

Worst Fashion Statements
Advice For 12-Year Old You
Let’s Play a Game – Build a Title

Click Here to buy something. Literally. Something. You’ll have no idea what it is until you get it and open it! Bring some spice into your shopping life!!!

The Spitvalve Podcast LXII – A Spitvalve Guarantee

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You guys, in case you’ve forgotten, Wade is really cool. Like really, really cool. Just an all around good guy. Trust us, you can trust him. He returns this week for the sleepy episode of the podcast. Never mind that it was only about 9 PM (that’s Mountain Standard for geographic reference, and 21:00 for those of you in the 24-hour clock persuasion). Don’t worry though, once these guys start talking theater, things perk right back up.

Topics Were:

How It Should Have Ended
Musicals
Melee vs. Ranged

Click Here to learn about dat bombardment, girl.

The Spitvalve Podcast LXI – Butt Dial Diaries

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Be honest, your butt had more than a few conversations with your friends and families back in the day. Back in the good old days when phones were made from unbreakable plastic, and there was no app store, there was only Snake. Glorious, glorious snake. You guys, James is back, and he is more beardy than ever! It might not come over the mic too clearly, but just take our word, it’s there, and it’s beautiful. Since James is on, we have to talk about scary stuff, so make sure you’re not wearing your good pants. Another standard with James being on the show, is we all have a lot to say. That might just be a standard anyways, but hey, that’s why you guys pay us the big bucks!

Topics Were:

Your Hipsterism
Scary Stories
Fighting Game Battle Royale

Click Here to make Homer Simpson back into any picture on your computer! Seriously!

The Spitvalve Podcast LX – Blitch

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Sorry about the delay everyone, Wharff fell asleep in the editing booth. Again. Seriously, that kid needs to track his blood sugars or something. However, never you fret, because in this episode most supreme and excellent guest star Liz returns to once again delight your souls and whisper sweet nothings into your earholes. Okay, full disclosure, she doesn’t actually whisper so much as talk at a normal volume, but you could turn the volume real low and pretend. Only, don’t turn it too low, or it will just sound like Wharff talking normal, Liz whispering, and you’ll forget Damon is even there – he’s a broadcast professional. Also, since Damon is always on top of things, a lot of those links he’s been throwing on Facebook might make a bit more sense after listening. Also, take some time out of your day to drop us a line and tell us we’re wonderful. Or any subset of us is wonderful. We always love hearing from you!

Topics Were:

Fix a Film
Favorite Worst Music

Click Here to make sweet human appendage music.

The Spitvalve Podcast LIX – A Sample of Your Own Probe

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Alright, alright, keep your hats on. The title sounds much more inappropriate out of context. I mean, I’m sure it’s still a little inappropriate IN context, just not as much. This week, we are joined by super great friend Kristen! And don’t let her subtle ways confuse you – she’s a feisty one. We talk about all sorts of random things to start things off this week, we probably don’t even roll for topics until 20 minutes in! Take that half-hearted listeners! Also, we are super touched by the outpouring we have received on social media this week. The number of people who saw our Facebook posts grew by 39,900%! For real, we’re not making that up. Facebook whispered it into our ears as though it was a sweet nothing. Also, make sure you stay until the very end, because Katie gets on the mic just under the wire! Serious guys, this is a good one.

Topics Were:

Childhood Career Dreams
Best Films in Famous Franchises (some alliteration, y’all)
Spaaaaaaaace!!!

Click Here to pretend you’re big brother a la 1984. Serious, tell George Orwell where to stick it.

The Spitvalve Podcast LVIII – Cryfive

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Katie’s back everyone! And because she’s here, things are super special. Right off the bat, you get a glimpse into Wharff’s super professional editing techniques, where he reveals his magic – if his magic is straight-up telling you he’s not going to edit things out. Damon leaves the room several times – see if you can guess when! Also, make sure you have a box of tissues nearby if you decide to watch any of the movies mentioned during the first topic. Above all else, however, be excited for how incredibly jazzed Katie is for topic 2. Seriously, like a little kid at Christmas. I wish we had pictures of her grins.

Topics Were:

Tearjerker Movies
Ancient Aliens
Let’s Play a Game – You Trollin’ Bro?

Click Here if you think you might see Superman in the sky. Chances are, it’s just a plane. Or, many planes.

The Spitvalve Podcast LVII – Canada’s Great

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A few items of business right off the back: if you disagree with the statement made in the title of this podcast, we feel sad for you. There are not really many good reasons to dislike Canada. They’ve always been pretty nice to you, so you might want to take a look inside and see if it’s just jealousy. Don’t be that guy. Also, Wharff would like to genuinely apologize for anyone taken off guard by the fact that he is not Canadian, nor was he born and raised in Canada.

Good, that’s out of the way.

This episode is a little different. Instead of the normal, full-octane word blasting usually provided, this is kind of like the smooth jazz interlude played during the intermission. Wharff and Damon just hang out and talk about things – and the things are important guys. First of all, we learn more about Damon’s father. Second, we learn more about “Ms. Vegas.” Third, we tell you what to do.

Turn off the death metal, put on your smoking jacket and your house slippers, and settle in. Just like grandpa used to make.

Click Here to get your puzzle on. Serious though, this is something you should do. The U.K. is all about panel quiz shows. Better be prepared.

The Spitvalve Podcast LVI – Winx Galore

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So here’s how slow I am – it wasn’t until I was just typing in the title of this podcast that I realized how incredibly much it sounds like a Bond girl’s name. Seriously – Winx Galore. It probable is from that alternate universe where Christian Bale agreed to play James Bond (seriously people, it could have happened). In this week’s episode, you must bear witness to Danielle’s glorious return. Pay close attention to her trying to get us to edit her silly mistakes out in post. Never going to happen. Damon proves once again that the longer a swear-bad is, the funnier it is to bleep out later. Also, Wharff talks about Star Wars, only he doesn’t really. And he’s not super nervous that he got any facts wrong…not at all…

Topics Were:

Which Arrested Development Character Are You?
Wharff Talks About Star Wars
Let’s Play a Game: What’s the Movie My Mom is Thinking Of?

For all our friends in this semester’s last week of college, Click Here to hurry things along. It’s maybe not plagiarism, probably.