The Spitvalve Podcast LXXV – Fictionalized Biography


You know what year was great? 2014! So we’ve gathered back around to review it again!

That’s totally a joke. And it’s a joke we made in the episode. But then I realized I’m writing this on March 31, with it hopefully posting April 1, and nothing is funnier than lying to you! You‼ Our precious listeners‼‼ Lies and exclamations. Oh my gosh, what’s going on? Ah yes! New episode: James comes back and we got more into South Africa than we have before. So that’s cool. And Wharff had a legitimate family thing come up. So please forgive him. He loves you.

Topics are:
Scary Movies
What Are You Worst At
Build a Band

Click here to take the mick out of … I’m not comfortable with finding nicknames for South Africans. But South Africans.

The Spitvalve Podcast LXXIII – Impromptu Year in Review


Things are aligning again. So that’s good. When we first recorded this, it was funny that we were recording an 2014 year-end episode so late in the game. And then we ran into fun technical problems, and now it’s coming out a month into 2015. So that’s more funny, right? Let’s say it is. Let’s say it’s a sweet, sweet reminder.

But it’s a good episode, and I’m glad it’s coming to you now. Scheduling troubles meant that James and Wharff were both available, just not on the same day. So the original thought was Damon & James would record a li’l episode and then Damon & Wharff would record a li’l episode, then we’d put ‘em together and release one episode. But we were able to fill regular episode time, so you get two episodes, and I get to say “episode” a whole whole bunch! So that’s good.

Click here to get nostalgic ’bout the last ten years before the last ten years have past.

The Spitvalve Podcast LXXII – T-U-R-T-L-E Hour


Cyber Monday is still a thing, right? Or do we not move Christmasward with our Black Friday encroachments?

Speaking of Black Friday, did you know that it is called Black Friday because it’s terrible? Don’t by into the big business spin that it puts them “in the black.”  Just remember that every time you see a major corporation use the term Black Friday, they are admitting they are terrible. Laugh along with me.

Oh! Also! The episode this week is a very special one. Watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie with us! Get it cued up to the start of the New Line Cinemas logo and we will tell you when to hit play. Hopefully your VHS copy isn’t so warped that it throws our laser-accurate timing off. It’s currently streaming on Netflix, and I bet you can get a DVD copy for pretty cheap.

Click Here to do yer homework.

The Spitvalve Podcast LXXI – Beef Between the Nails and the Bizkit


Every podcast that posts a show today is going to say something about using it to escape from your family, and now that I’ve mentioned it it’s too late for me not to say the same thing. But this episode is a nice intimate family affair, with Wharff & Damon cozying up for a two hander. Wharff’s ruggedness really shines through, but I must warn you, there are spoilers for the current elk season.

Topics were greatest hits, but not Pets.

Click here to buy Damon something

The Spitvalve Podcast LXX – Rear Window


Lady energy on this week’s episode. As Wharff is off being quite rugged, Damon invites show favourite, and fellow indoor kid, Liz down to talk real talk. Liz was kind and persuasive enough to bring her friend Jamie to round out the line up. Jamie was delightful, if a little mic-shy. But it was her first time, give it up for her.
[applause break]
Wondering about the episode’s title? Stay tuned until next week, kiddies!

Topics were:
Last Movie You Saw
Still Haven’t Seen
Let’s Play a Game: Name That

Click here for an all-time favourite.


The Spitvalve Podcast LXIX – Spitvalve Public Radio


Maybe one of the principle members of this show had a weird thing in his throat for a couple weeks and caused us to burn through our small buffer of shows. Maybe he recorded a mini episode to throw up this week, but then hated it and destroyed it and recorded a new one. Maybe he got caught up in the spirit of the season. Hopefully you’re able to get down with it, and we’ll be back to the regular power pack next week.

Click here for wrestling promos set to music.

Topic was: Scary Movies

The Spitvalve Podcast LXVIII – Mars Needs Airbenders


What would we do without Bethteva James? Once again we are indebted to him and his lustful baritone, as he swings in to join us for the first episode in the all-new Goathead Studios. Not only that, but he’s the first guest to speak into our all new microphones, so you really get to experience that aforementioned lustful baritone. I think our next goal, technologically, is going to be having everybody’s microphone feed into separate episodes to be played at once on different stereos, Zaireeka-style. We discuss the character map, give some handy tips for summons Apple daemons (or iDaemons), and get all weepy.

Topics were:

I Wish I Could
Worst Book You’ve Ever Read
Things That Make You Cry (But Shouldn’t)

Click here for one weird tip.

The Spitvalve Podcast LXVII – 24 Karat Entertainment Center


You might want to make sure you seat doubles as a flotation device before embarking on this journey. Join us as Wharff, Damon, and Cousin Caleb ramble on for a record 2 hour and 13 minute podcast. Seriously, we’re not joking. You’ll want to stick around for all of it too, as we are replete with nuggets of wisdom to share, like how you should compliment girls for smelling good. Serious, we could be charging for this stuff.

Topics Were:

First Date
Cartoon Smörgåsbord
Best Film in a Franchise

Click Here to make a party anywhere, anytime.

The Spitvalve Podcast LXVI – Changing Lives


I was actually just thinking about the phrase “Tweet us your thesis” (*See Episode LI, True Believer!), and how it’s simultaneously satisfying and frustrating. I think the word hiatus is very much the same sort of sound collection. High ate us. Hee yat oos. Hiya!tus. It’s so nebulous. Ooooh! Nebulous is a good one. Why am I rambling about these words, lovely though they be? It’s because this episode was recorded months ago, and I didn’t really remember what was going on in it. But now I’m warmed up enough that I can tell you it’s a good one. James is our special guest, and Dave (imagine that, True Believers!) returns as cohost! So not only is this episode refreshing in that it’s our first post since my birthday, but it’s also Dave’s first appearance since Episode XXXII. Please forgive us if our references are somewhat dated, and if we complain about how hot it is. And please enjoy.

Topics Were:

First Albums
Best Gifts
Lord of the Rings Draft

Click Here to get a personal pan pizza because you read books as a kid.